Dear St. Paul’s Family,
As many of you know, we are in the midst of observing three funerals over a period of five days. Tomorrow’s celebration of Judy Miekle, along with Phyllis Elliot on Saturday and Edie Holler yesterday, mark the passing of three women who lived out their faith with great compassion and strength, and were members of this church for a combined total of over one hundred and fifty years.
It has certainly been an active year for funerals for me, as I have performed thirty of them over the past twelve months, with most of them non-members. This busy stretch over the past few days prompted me to pause yesterday and ponder for a moment how families work through their loss of a loved one. Writing today’s Mid-Week Message, then, has been as helpful to me in processing through these eventful days as it hopefully will be to you in reading it.
CATCHING FIREFLIES
The time I spend with a family to plan a funeral is one of the most important, most sacred occasions in my profession. I am there to serve as a counselor, a resident theologian, and a pastoral wordsmith. Every critical component of my calling to ministry is represented in that hallowed hour. Most of all, I am there to elicit and gather stories that capture the family’s fullest remembrance of their loved one.
It often takes little prompting on my part to get the stories started. The stories often come randomly, from different members of the family, with no prescribed order or flow. Sometimes family will share a choice story from their loved one’s youth, then skip ahead to the final days, then back to their marriage. There’s no planned sequence. A story about a loved one’s difficult days is followed by a happy memory, then someone tells a funny story, followed by a poignant memory, and just like that, the family is moved to tears.
This kind of story telling and story gathering is critical in the grieving process. Families will share a story immediately as it comes to mind, hoping that in its uttering, it can be captured and preserved. Like catching fireflies on a summer night, they work quickly to capture the stories that might become the small, flickering lights they can cherish in the midst of their darkness.
THE COMMON THREAD
Though the stories are as varied as the people we’ve remembered, there is one common facet among them. Loved ones aren’t remembered for their possessions or their achievements. Not their gadgets or their toys, or their properties or portfolios. Not their successes or their trophies, or their distinctions or their diplomas. None of those things ever seem to matter when it comes to important family memories.
What does a family remember the most? The relationships. The people. The people that were impacted by their loved one’s talents and time. Those who were privileged enough to be within that person’s sphere of influence. Each person who says, “I will never be the same because that person was in my life.”
That’s the common thread that I’ve heard over and over again, story after story, funeral after funeral, dozens of times over the past year, and countless times over my years in ministry. The true treasure in life is found in the relationships one builds and maintains over the course of their lifetimes.
Here’s the thing that has been stirring in me throughout these last days. In the end, after we are gone, we are going to be remembered. Not for our treasures or trophies, but by the quality of the love that we shared, gave, and received with those around us. That will be the most important thing that we leave behind, and the only thing – the only thing – that will truly matter.
Maybe you and I both need to do some work investing more into those relationships with people. Cherish the relationships you have with those around you. Love them, spend time with them, make memories with them, and tell them how you feel about them before their funeral, rather than after.
You won’t have them forever. And they won’t have you forever. Today is a gift, and you have been given a treasure. Don’t waste it.
Grace and Peace,
Magrey
The Rev. Magrey R. deVega
St. Paul's United Methodist Church
531 W. Main St.
Cherokee, IA 51012
Ph: 712-225-3955
Email: mdevega@sp-umc.org
SPRING FORWARD THIS SUNDAY
As a reminder, don’t forget to adjust your clocks one hour ahead this weekend, as we begin Daylight Savings Time.
TENDING YOUR SOUL
Join us this Sunday as we continue our sermon series on tending the soul. We will turn our attention to the Psalm 119, the longest chapter in the Bible, which describes the relationship between a faithful person and the law of the Lord. We’ll learn ways to incorporate scripture reading and study into our daily discipline to grow in our faith.
CONGREGATION-WIDE FAST THIS THURSDAY
Last Sunday we learned about the theology and practice of the spiritual discipline of fasting, and I extended a church-wide invitation for people to join me in a fast from noon this Thursday to noon on Friday. If you would like to participate, let me know by email and I will send you messages with prayer, scripture, and encouragement several times throughout our fast.
SPECIAL OFFERING THIS SUNDAY
This Sunday we will receive an offering for the One Great Hour of Sharing, which supports the United Methodist Committee on Relief.
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