ZION CREATIVE LABS, INC.
Marketing Proposal
Dear Nicodemus,
As one of the premier marketing and advertising agencies throughout Jerusalem and the wider Judean metropolitan area, we pride ourselves in effectively communicating the message of our customers with creativity and quality. We are keenly interested in signing a certain Jesus of Nazareth as one of our clients; however, thus far he has not returned our emails or voicemails.
It has come to our attention that you were able to have a private conversation with him during the overnight hours of last Thursday morning. Our sources suggest that your discussion elicited several intriguing phrases and sayings, which we believe can make a memorable and immediate impact on the lucrative religious cliché market.
We are asking you to consider hiring our firm to capitalize on the growing popularity of this teacher from Nazareth and take this message to the next level. With our expertise, you are certain to become a household name, and popularize this Jesus to a mass market that is infatuated by celebrities.
First of all, the phrase “born-again,” which he apparently used to describe one’s entrance into the kingdom of God, is brimming with marketing possibilities. We propose targeting the fundamentalist demographic, who are looking for a phrase to distinguish themselves from believers they consider to be lukewarm and inferior. Imagine the phrase, “Have you been born again?” as a handy way for them to discern the true believers from the mere wannabees. We are prepared to saturate the culture with this new vocabulary through a new line of t-shirts, pencil toppers, can koozies, and yo-yo’s, all bearing that phrase.
The possibilities of the phrase “born-again” are endless. Imagine television and movie stars, dragged down by their past misdeeds, immediately rehabilitating their image simply by saying they were “born again.” Imagine politicians using the phrase to galvanize their base, merely by claiming that they were “born-again believers.” By trademarking that phrase and giving you a generous cut of the royalties, we believe we can make you a very rich man, Nicodemus. And everyone knows that riches are the real key to entering the kingdom.
We believe that the other phrase of interest is in the statement, “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” This has all the makings of a dynamic game-changer in the spiritual aphorism business. It has all the ingredients that the culture looks for in its popularized proverbs: something about God loving them, something about having sole claim to right belief, and something about living forever. It has been a clear winner among our focus groups. The added benefit is that it is written in the old king’s English, which gives it instant credibility and an aura of divine authority. Everyone knows that when Jesus really wants to get a point across, he speaks Elizabethan English. And in all red letters.
The one adjustment we would suggest is in abbreviating the statement, to make it more portable, and more handy. We are working on shortening it down to just a few syllables, but for now we have assigned it a working code name of “John316,” for reasons that may be apparent down the road. Imagine going to a football game and seeing “John316” in big letters behind the goal posts. Imagine a chart-topping music artist tattooing it on their biceps and “praising Jesus” whenever they flexed on stage. Imagine the phrase becoming the catch phrase for the born-again generation. It will take the religious world by storm.
We believe we can take your message to the next level. We can elevate your public profile to unforeseen heights, and vastly improve your status among the other Pharisees. No more secret rendezvous at night, no more hiding from public view. Hire us, and we can make you a star. After all, you know what they say: the first will be first and the last will be last.
We look forward to hearing from you soon.
Sincerely,
The Zion Creative Labs Advertising Team
The Rev. Magrey R. deVega
St. Paul's United Methodist Church
531 W. Main St.
Cherokee, IA 51012
Ph: 712-225-3955
Email: mdevega@sp-umc.org
John 3:1-18
1 There was a Pharisee named Nicodemus, a Jewish leader.
2 He came to Jesus at night and said to him, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God, for no one could do these miraculous signs that you do unless God is with him.”
3 Jesus answered, “I assure you, unless someone is born anew,[a] it’s not possible to see God’s kingdom.”
4 Nicodemus asked, “How is it possible for an adult to be born? It’s impossible to enter the mother’s womb for a second time and be born, isn’t it?”
5 Jesus answered, “I assure you, unless someone is born of water and the Spirit, it’s not possible to enter God’s kingdom.
6 Whatever is born of the flesh is flesh, and whatever is born of the Spirit is spirit.
7 Don’t be surprised that I said to you, ‘You must be born anew.’
8 God’s Spirit[b] blows wherever it wishes. You hear its sound, but you don’t know where it comes from or where it is going. It’s the same with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
9 Nicodemus said, “How are these things possible?”
10 “Jesus answered, “You are a teacher of Israel and you don’t know these things?
11 I assure you that we speak about what we know and testify about what we have seen, but you don’t receive our testimony.
12 If I have told you about earthly things and you don’t believe, how will you believe if I tell you about heavenly things?
13 No one has gone up to heaven except the one who came down from heaven, the Human One.
14 Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so must the Human One[d] be lifted up
15 so that everyone who believes in him will have eternal life.
16 God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him won’t perish but will have eternal life.
17 God didn’t send his Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through him.
18 Whoever believes in him isn’t judged; whoever doesn’t believe in him is already judged, because they don’t believe in the name of God’s only Son.
WORSHIP THIS SUNDAY
Join us as we continue our sermon series on the Kingdom of God with a closer look at this famous passage from John 3. We’ll dig through the usual pop-Christianity associations with this text, and discover a new and fresh way of participating in God’s kingdom on earth.
PORK LOIN DINNER AFTER WORSHIP
Once again, we are hosting our annual pork loin dinner (and the first since our return to the dining hall!) this Sunday, September 28. It will take place after the morning service, and it will feature delicious pork loins from the Parker family. You are invited to bring a salad to share, and desserts will be provided. A free will offering will be taken to put towards our recent renovations.
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